A Life You Don’t Need To Escape

A Life You Don’t Need To Escape

by | Jul 31, 2019 | Corporate Wellness, Integrative Life Coach, Purpose

“Instead of wondering when your next vacation is, maybe you should set up a life you don’t need to escape from.” – Seth Godin

“Where are you traveling to this summer?” 

There was nothing unusual about my friend Michael’s question. All who know me are well aware of my passion for global travel. When I was in college, a semester studying in France ignited my lifelong wanderlust. Ever since then, I planned getaways whenever I could: at first, I traveled in Europe, but then to North Africa, the Middle East and most recently to South America.

During the decades when I was working as a private banker, I anxiously waited for these escapes from my routine life so that I could have an adventure. Each year, I had my travel plans nailed down well in advance. 

Michael’s question startled me. Suddenly, I realized that it was already June, and I hadn’t even thought about a trip. I’d been so engaged in my life that the idea of a vacation didn’t even cross my mind! This had never happened before. 

It was yet another example of what I’ve come to think of as my “delayering.” By this, I mean the process of stripping away the patterns of my life ever since I resigned from my banking position a little over a year ago. 

It has been a year of dramatic change and sometimes difficult uncertainty. My days have been occupied with meeting new people, helping clients, giving presentations about my work, researching, writing, and learning the many new skills required to start my own business. I have been deeply engaged.

Because I control my own schedule, I have the freedom to sit outside and relish an espresso on a beautiful day, or squeeze in a midday yoga class, or stay up way too late when I want. All of this contributes to making my new career feel like more of a dream than work.

So in that moment, it hit me:

I’m living a life I don’t feel any need to take a vacation from.

Wow! Whenever I (rarely) heard someone say this in the past, I never would have believed it. And yet, for me, it is true. At least in my first year, I can say that I have created a life I don’t need to escape. 

When I was in it, I thought I loved my former life. I didn’t realize how much better things could get until I deconditioned myself. 

Finding A Moment To Pause

Somehow, I changed. My body began to cringe when someone at the office greeted me with “TGIF!” or reminded me that it was “Hump Day.” 

Was I going to spend the remainder of my adult life counting the days until I could escape on an exotic vacation that might last a few weeks out of the entire year? 

Ditto when well-intentioned people recommended that I “treat myself” to retail therapy, spas, alcohol, sweets, and various other perceived pamperings as coping mechanisms for a stressful life. Yes, these indulgences can add pleasure to life. But they are often being used to either escape from or numb it. Wouldn’t it make more sense to align my lifestyle with my long-term objectives for well-being?

Having already lost two friends to cancer, I realized that I didn’t want to wait until “later” to enjoy daily life.

Deconditioning Yourself

As a first-born child of two refugees, stepping away from a prestigious six-figure position and eventually deciding to launch my own coaching business required a great deal of soul searching. I had to honestly look at my past accomplishments, assess my unactualized potential, break through my conditioning for safety, defer my immediate desires, sacrifice for a future vision, let go of structures and people that I love, disappoint clients, live without a concrete plan for the first time in my adult life, and no longer use my busy life as a justification to procrastinate.

Whew…that was a lot!

By allowing for the unknown, I was able to ultimately remove myself from being one of the eternally busy and to no longer ignore my intuition, limit myself by my fears, or walk through life surviving by looking forward to my vacations.

It’s one thing to enjoy your vacations, and it’s an entirely different thing to feel like you need a vacation in order to feel alive. We should strive to make our lives the ones we want to be living every day.

This isn’t easy to do. But I have done it. I love every day and don’t count the days until Friday. When someone sends a “TGIF” or reminds me that “Wednesday is Hump Day,” I recognize that they are playing out their conditioning while I now enjoy Monday as much as the weekend.

I learned that it’s far better to choose the life that feels good because it is richer than the life that looks good. And that we tend to be too “fixed” in how we approach our lives: what feels good is subject to change over time.

Three Elements of a Life You Don’t Need To Escape

Based on my experience, being fully engaged and present in life requires three primary elements:

1. A sense of purpose and meaning that causes you to wake up inspired each morning. Feeling that your life is meaningful is proven to be a key ingredient towards feeling fulfilled.

2. The ability to do some things that you love to do. Using your character strengths, the positive qualities that come naturally to you, is demonstrated to provide you with a greater sense of well-being

3. Enough challenges to keep you stimulated, yet comfortable enough so that you are not constantly stressed out.

In order to identify what a life you don’t need a vacation from would look like for you, you will need to determine what you need to feel fulfilled and what your values, or ideals, are. Your work will need to express those objectives. Because our intentions can sometimes be tough to define, many of my clients come to me to gain insight in this area. After our work together, they can identify what makes them happy and go on to make empowered choices that will help them create the life they want.

And so what about that vacation?

My traveling days aren’t over, but for now I’m enjoying the experience of being a tourist in my daily life. It both reenergizes me and makes me feel alive.

I wish the same for you. 😉

To book a private session with me in order to explore the three elements of a life you won’t need to escape, please go to Contact Me! on right sidebar or below (depending on device). 

An Urban Shaman

An Urban Shaman

by | May 11, 2019 | Holistic Life Coach, Wellness

“The skyline of New York is a monument of splendor that no pyramids or palaces will ever equal or approach.”   – Ayn Rand

Places call us, and we begin an exciting journey that is an exploration of both the place and our Self.

By the time I was four years old, I was already dreaming of living in Manhattan. Whenever my father would drive our family over the George Washington Bridge from New Jersey to the sparkly city, I would become mesmerized. The view of the shimmering skyline grazing the Hudson River ignited something within me.

People with creativity and ambition have always been drawn to Manhattan. The energy of the island is so powerful and focused that you can feel its vibration the minute you step on its ground. For me, it’s a current filled with imagination, desire, possibility, and excitement.  

Manhattan is an energy vortex that supports those who want to create and excel in a variety of endeavors.

The strength of this force permeates through all of New York City’s boroughs and the entire metropolitan area.

Many of you are urbanites, so you’re also intimately aware that the energy of an urban vortex can take as much as it gives. This means that its intensity can also drain you of your vitality.

Depleting Aspects of Urban Life

Urbanites suffer from overstimulation. Although sensory overload isn’t unique to city living, it’s magnified by it. You’re subject to cramped quarters, noise, unpredictable transportation delays, reliance on technology, a large amount of information to process, and a need to interact with many people daily.

The anonymity of cities has its appeal, but living alone or away from a family support system can make you more susceptible to isolation and loneliness. Make friends where you work? Competitiveness and mistrust are abundant in today’s workplace. It may be challenging for those relationships to become as intimate as you may like.

The abundance of choice from lifestyles, to careers, significant others, neighborhoods, food, and entertainment can also cause significant stress. Having so many options in life is great, but it requires you to make a lot of decisions.

Humans aren’t wired for this much action…or reaction.

From a scientific perspective, the surface of the earth has a negative charge. As a result of urban life, you can build up an overabundant amount of positive charge. This condition can leave you feeling as if you stuck your finger in an electric socket – wired and drained at the same time.

Nature As Medicine

Ground yourself. Connect to the natural world by doing things like going barefoot in the grass, touching trees, standing in the ocean, and walking in the woods. These experiences soften your electrical charge and help integrate your body into the present moment. Nature is designed to give you this support.

Most of us in cities and suburbs don’t touch nature anymore.

As an urbanite, you spend over 90 percent of your life indoors. Direct contact with the natural world is what neutralizes any imbalances you may have developed and returns you to your innate state of harmony. But you need to make a conscious effort and time to make that connection.

Whenever I feel an unfocused buzzing energy or drained, my first impulse is to get to the closest beach and lie in the sand or jump in the ocean. Because that’s not always an easy option, I walk over to Central Park and sit with my bare feet on the grass and my back against my favorite tree.

Connecting to any part of the physical world will do the trick and help ground you. Feel free to choose wherever it is that you gravitate to.

Integrative Solutions for Modern Life

Yes, sparkly cities are alluring. But their glitter can also distract you from the primary reason that you are called to them. It’s not about the action,
diversity, careers, money, fashion, arts or other cultural activities.

You are drawn to urban areas in order to bring forward your best self and share your gifts with the world. This isn’t an easy job.

The process of cultivating your most optimal self while maintaining your sense of well-being is often enhanced by the support of an urban shaman. Everyone benefits from having guidance, support, tools, and accountability.

My decades of experience with clients, global travels, and studies with indigenous shamans and of science-based personal growth modalities taught me that modern life has pulled us way too far from our essence.

We are always more content when our practical needs don’t stray too far from what we require in order to thrive spiritually. Because this disparity is common, I developed Integrative Solutions for Modern Life, a holistic life and wellness program designed to reconnect you with your authentic self.

Your natural state is far easier to achieve than you think. As your urban shaman, I help you implement simple techniques that calm your nervous system, focus your attention, and leave you feeling renewed and fully engaged in your creations.

Keep your mind, body, and spirit in the earth while you manifest like a skyscraper! 😉

The Power of Water

The Power of Water

by | Apr 18, 2019 | Health Coach, Holistic Life Coach

“Pure water is the world’s first and foremost medicine.” – Slovakian proverb

Have you ever noticed the effect on your energy when you are near a body of water?

I first noticed a transformative element in water when I was a young child. My family and I spent summers at the Jersey Shore. It was a blissful period of iced root beers and Bruce Springsteen lyrics blasting out of car windows. But what compelled me most was the smell and feel of sea spray. Later in life, I discovered “spiritual homes” by the water and was continuously drawn back to Mykonos (Greece) and Tulum (Mexico). What really called me to these places was their seas. Swimming in the Aegean and Caribbean cleansed me of my urbanness and left me feeling balanced and renewed.

Water’s Many Benefits

People have always been drawn to water. But science has caught up to prove that spending time near water decreases stress, anxiety, and depression – and also that humans, quite simply, are happier by oceans, seas, lakes, and streams.

Human beings are comprised of approximately 60 percent water. Blood is 90 percent water.

Water is a natural life force.

And so, understandably, we need water as a major energy source for our brain and body.

Apart from the power of being near water, humans have long understood that water has curative properties. Most religions use water for purification. Ancient Egyptians and Greeks used water to heal. Native Americans sat in sweat lodges to purify the body and mind. Ottomans used hammams, or steam baths, for physical and emotional detox and to boost the immune system. Nineteenth-century Europeans used hydrotherapy (alternatively dipping parts of the body into hot and cold water) to treat anxiety, pneumonia, and back pain.

After my retreats by the sea, I would return to my office with a newfound respect for water and its potential to heal. Whenever I experienced annoying health symptoms, my intuition guided me to the water bottle on my desk. I would increase my water intake and notice that drinking more water often cured my symptoms. It became obvious to me that my active and stressful lifestyle had left me dehydrated…and that pure water is a physical as well as emotional healer.

Here are just a few of water’s known benefits for our bodies and brains:

Water lubricates the joints, boosts oxygen throughout the body, improves brain function, improves your skin, regulates body temperature, helps digestion, flushes away waste, and is essential for your kidneys.

Dehydration

When I was a private banker, my colleagues often complained to me about fatigue, headaches, brain fog, irritability, 3pm energy crash, constipation, pain, indigestion, skin issues, and charley horses. When I asked about their water intake, they were skeptical that dehydration could be the cause. Almost all of them would tell me they were drinking a sufficient amount of water, meaning 6-8 cups (8 oz) per day, and living a healthy lifestyle.

I knew that our bodies use physical discomfort to get our attention, so my instinct told me something wasn’t jibing.

Now that I have dedicated my career to holistic life and wellness coaching, I’ve had time to study dehydration more closely. Did you know that…

Most Americans are chronically dehydrated.

By the time you sense that you are thirsty, you are already dehydrated.

You can’t substitute any other liquid (tea, coffee, fruit juice, soda, etc.) for water.

Coffee and caffeine products are diuretics (flush water out), so you must replace every cup you drink with a cup of water.

It is essential to sip your water allocation throughout to day and not chug it or you risk potentially deadly water poisoning. The body can’t flush out an overwhelming intake of water.

A good way to measure dehydration is by the color of your urine. It should be clear to pale yellow and transparent (hydrated) rather than darker yellow/orange and cloudy (dehydrated). Severe dehydration, can lead to a coma or even death.

How Much Water Do You Need?

There is disagreement about how much water people need. Every body is unique and you should listen to your own. A good starting point is ½ oz per/lb of body weight daily (65 oz/8 cups for 130lb person). You may need more.

I realized that many of my clients had deficient water intake because their body was being dehydrated in ways they didn’t suspect.

The bigger, older, or more active you are the more water you need. If you exercise a lot, experience stress (yes, stress causes dehydration), consume alcohol, caffeine, salt, and processed foods, you are also likely to need more water.

My recommendation is that you incorporate 1-2 cups of water into your daily morning routine. We know that dehydration strains your heart. Most of you sleep six to eight hours per night. When you wake up, your body is in its most dehydrated state. This may contribute to why heart attacks are most common in the morning.

I can read your mind…

You lead a busy life…it’s annoying to have to run to or find a bathroom shortly after drinking.

Trust me, when you experience the results of drinking more water, you’ll see that it’s worth the inconvenience. Until I witnessed the positive effects of increasing my water intake, the only water I craved was water I could swim in. 😉

One client came to me complaining of severe headaches, frequent constipation, eczema, and depression. She visited several doctors who couldn’t identify the causes. She had been drinking six cups of water daily. We increased her daily water intake by three cups and reduced her coffee by two cups per day. Within two weeks she saw her symptoms noticeably improve and within a month she had simply resolved all of her health issues.

Do you have an annoying chronic health issue that hasn’t yet been resolved by conventional medicine? If so, try experimenting by drinking more water for 60 to 90-days.

Aside from increasing your physical activity by running to and from the loo, I’d love to hear if you notice any health improvements after you experiment with drinking more water.