How Grateful Are You?

How Grateful Are You?

by | Aug 29, 2019 | Health Coach, Wellness

"Gratitude is the Abracadabra of the universe."
-Adironda, Marilyn Harper

It was crowded on the Canal Street subway platform. I was waiting to take the Q train home after having dinner with a friend. It’s not unusual to find musicians performing in New York City’s subway system. But on this evening, I was greeted by a magician.

The magician performed his magic act in silence, except for an occasional “Abracadabra!” This invocation seemed to create magic. Seemingly out of nowhere, white, pink, and red roses appeared in the palm of his hand.

Watching his performance reminded me that I had been sensing magic, meaning unexpected positive happenings, in my life. While on the ride uptown, amidst the shuffling of people, announcements, and annoying tone alerting riders of the closing doors, I wondered what our “Abracadabra!” is. What creates magic for us?

I had recently been feeling deeply grateful for the opportunity to build my coaching business. Being creative and helping others thrive makes me feel complete. The answer hit me:

Feeling gratitude and no need for anything to be different is your "Abracadabra!".

In other words, gratitude produces the good vibes that generate abundance. Hence, the ability to manifest welcome happenings in your life is all about how grateful you feel. This revelation is a pretty big deal.

Our conditioning (see March blog post, “Who Am I?”) leads us to chase after how things should be rather than appreciate what is.

I’m as guilty of this lack of presence as any of my clients. It’s a behavior that I’ve consciously worked on and have made some progress with. In my July blog post (see “A Life You Don’t Need To Escape”), I wrote about my experience creating a life I am so present with that I don’t feel the need to break away.

The month of August leaves me feeling profoundly grateful for my family, health, friends, clients, life experiences, and opportunities for growth. That’s not to say that a disappointment or two hasn’t come up. When they occurred, I retreated to the beach for the afternoon. Inhaling the sea spray led me to the realization that there are lessons inherent in every situation. By the end of the day, being in nature helped me to understand what they were.

I moved towards even deeper gratitude.

Afterward, unexpected clients, publishers, friends, and even invitations to savor these final days of summer by the sea appeared.

One of those offers was irresistible. I’ll be away for the next few weeks, disconnected from electromagnetic devices, feet up, taking in a good book, the salt air, and feeling grateful.

Thank you to the magician and every person who has touched my life during the magical moments of the past year.

Abracadabra! 😉

Since ancient times, September has been viewed as the beginning of the spiritual new year by several different cultures. A sense of new beginnings is palpable. To book a private session with me in order to explore what gratitude can begin to manifest for you this fall, please go to Contact Me! on the right sidebar or below (depending on device).

A Life You Don’t Need To Escape

A Life You Don’t Need To Escape

by | Jul 31, 2019 | Corporate Wellness, Integrative Life Coach, Purpose

“Instead of wondering when your next vacation is, maybe you should set up a life you don’t need to escape from.” – Seth Godin

“Where are you traveling to this summer?”

There was nothing unusual about my friend Michael’s question. All who know me are well aware of my passion for global travel. When I was in college, a semester studying in France ignited my lifelong wanderlust. Ever since then, I planned getaways whenever I could: at first, I traveled in Europe, but then to North Africa, the Middle East and most recently to South America.

During the decades when I was working as a private banker, I anxiously waited for these escapes from my routine life so that I could have an adventure. Each year, I had my travel plans nailed down well in advance.

Michael’s question startled me. Suddenly, I realized that it was already June, and I hadn’t even thought about a trip. I’d been so engaged in my life that the idea of a vacation didn’t even cross my mind! This had never happened before.

It was yet another example of what I’ve come to think of as my “delayering.” By this, I mean the process of stripping away the patterns of my life ever since I resigned from my banking position a little over a year ago.

It has been a year of dramatic change and sometimes difficult uncertainty. My days have been occupied with meeting new people, helping clients, giving presentations about my work, researching, writing, and learning the many new skills required to start my own business. I have been deeply engaged.

Because I control my own schedule, I have the freedom to sit outside and relish an espresso on a beautiful day, or squeeze in a midday yoga class, or stay up way too late when I want. All of this contributes to making my new career feel like more of a dream than work.

So in that moment, it hit me:

I’m living a life I don’t feel any need to take a vacation from.

Wow! Whenever I (rarely) heard someone say this in the past, I never would have believed it. And yet, for me, it is true. At least in my first year, I can say that I have created a life I don’t need to escape.

When I was in it, I thought I loved my former life. I didn’t realize how much better things could get until I deconditioned myself.

Finding A Moment To Pause

Somehow, I changed. My body began to cringe when someone at the office greeted me with “TGIF!” or reminded me that it was “Hump Day.”

Was I going to spend the remainder of my adult life counting the days until I could escape on an exotic vacation that might last a few weeks out of the entire year?

Ditto when well-intentioned people recommended that I “treat myself” to retail therapy, spas, alcohol, sweets, and various other perceived pamperings as coping mechanisms for a stressful life. Yes, these indulgences can add pleasure to life. But they are often being used to either escape from or numb it. Wouldn’t it make more sense to align my lifestyle with my long-term objectives for well-being?

Having already lost two friends to cancer, I realized that I didn’t want to wait until “later” to enjoy daily life.

Deconditioning Yourself

As a first-born child of two refugees, stepping away from a prestigious six-figure position and eventually deciding to launch my own coaching business required a great deal of soul searching. I had to honestly look at my past accomplishments, assess my unactualized potential, break through my conditioning for safety, defer my immediate desires, sacrifice for a future vision, let go of structures and people that I love, disappoint clients, live without a concrete plan for the first time in my adult life, and no longer use my busy life as a justification to procrastinate.

Whew…that was a lot!

By allowing for the unknown, I was able to ultimately remove myself from being one of the eternally busy and to no longer ignore my intuition, limit myself by my fears, or walk through life surviving by looking forward to my vacations.

It’s one thing to enjoy your vacations, and it’s an entirely different thing to feel like you need a vacation in order to feel alive. We should strive to make our lives the ones we want to be living every day.

This isn’t easy to do. But I have done it. I love every day and don’t count the days until Friday. When someone sends a “TGIF” or reminds me that “Wednesday is Hump Day,” I recognize that they are playing out their conditioning while I now enjoy Monday as much as the weekend.

I learned that it’s far better to choose the life that feels good because it is richer than the life that looks good. And that we tend to be too “fixed” in how we approach our lives: what feels good is subject to change over time.

Three Elements of a Life You Don’t Need To Escape

Based on my experience, being fully engaged and present in life requires three primary elements:

1. A sense of purpose and meaning that causes you to wake up inspired each morning. Feeling that your life is meaningful is proven to be a key ingredient towards feeling fulfilled.

2. The ability to do some things that you love to do. Using your character strengths, the positive qualities that come naturally to you, is demonstrated to provide you with a greater sense of well-being

3. Enough challenges to keep you stimulated, yet comfortable enough so that you are not constantly stressed out.

In order to identify what a life you don’t need a vacation from would look like for you, you will need to determine what you need to feel fulfilled and what your values, or ideals, are. Your work will need to express those objectives. Because our intentions can sometimes be tough to define, many of my clients come to me to gain insight in this area. After our work together, they can identify what makes them happy and go on to make empowered choices that will help them create the life they want.

And so what about that vacation?

My traveling days aren’t over, but for now I’m enjoying the experience of being a tourist in my daily life. It both reenergizes me and makes me feel alive.

I wish the same for you. 😉

To book a private session with me in order to explore the three elements of a life you won’t need to escape, please go to Contact Me! on right sidebar or below (depending on device).

An Urban Shaman

An Urban Shaman

by | May 11, 2019 | Holistic Life Coach, Wellness

"The skyline of New York is a monument of splendor that no pyramids or palaces will ever equal or approach." – Ayn Rand

Places call us, and we begin an exciting journey that is an exploration of both the place and our Self.

By the time I was four years old, I was already dreaming of living in Manhattan. Whenever my father would drive our family over the George Washington Bridge from New Jersey to the sparkly city, I would become mesmerized. The view of the shimmering skyline grazing the Hudson River ignited something within me.

People with creativity and ambition have always been drawn to Manhattan. The energy of the island is so powerful and focused that you can feel its vibration the minute you step on its ground. For me, it’s a current filled with imagination, desire, possibility, and excitement.  

Manhattan is an energy vortex that supports those who want to create and excel in a variety of endeavors.

The strength of this force permeates through all of New York City’s boroughs and the entire metropolitan area.

Many of you are urbanites, so you’re also intimately aware that the energy of an urban vortex can take as much as it gives. This means that its intensity can also drain you of your vitality.

 

Depleting Aspects of Urban Life

Urbanites suffer from overstimulation. Although sensory overload isn’t unique to city living, it’s magnified by it. You’re subject to cramped quarters, noise, unpredictable transportation delays, reliance on technology, a large amount of information to process, and a need to interact with many people daily.

The anonymity of cities has its appeal, but living alone or away from a family support system can make you more susceptible to isolation and loneliness. Make friends where you work? Competitiveness and mistrust are abundant in today’s workplace. It may be challenging for those relationships to become as intimate as you may like.

The abundance of choice from lifestyles, to careers, significant others, neighborhoods, food, and entertainment can also cause significant stress. Having so many options in life is great, but it requires you to make a lot of decisions.

Humans aren’t wired for this much action…or reaction.

From a scientific perspective, the surface of the earth has a negative charge. As a result of urban life, you can build up an overabundant amount of positive charge. This condition can leave you feeling as if you stuck your finger in an electric socket – wired and drained at the same time.

Nature As Medicine

Ground yourself. Connect to the natural world by doing things like going barefoot in the grass, touching trees, standing in the ocean, and walking in the woods. These experiences soften your electrical charge and help integrate your body into the present moment. Nature is designed to give you this support.

Most of us in cities and suburbs don’t touch nature anymore.

As an urbanite, you spend over 90 percent of your life indoors. Direct contact with the natural world is what neutralizes any imbalances you may have developed and returns you to your innate state of harmony. But you need to make a conscious effort and time to make that connection.

Whenever I feel an unfocused buzzing energy or drained, my first impulse is to get to the closest beach and lie in the sand or jump in the ocean. Because that’s not always an easy option, I walk over to Central Park and sit with my bare feet on the grass and my back against my favorite tree.

Connecting to any part of the physical world will do the trick and help ground you. Feel free to choose wherever it is that you gravitate to.

Integrative Solutions for Modern Life

Yes, sparkly cities are alluring. But their glitter can also distract you from the primary reason that you are called to them. It’s not about the action,
diversity, careers, money, fashion, arts or other cultural activities.

You are drawn to urban areas in order to bring forward your best self and share your gifts with the world. This isn’t an easy job.

The process of cultivating your most optimal self while maintaining your sense of well-being is often enhanced by the support of an urban shaman. Everyone benefits from having guidance, support, tools, and accountability.

My decades of experience with clients, global travels, and studies with indigenous shamans and of science-based personal growth modalities taught me that modern life has pulled us way too far from our essence.

We are always more content when our practical needs don’t stray too far from what we require in order to thrive spiritually. Because this disparity is common, I developed Integrative Solutions for Modern Life, a holistic life and wellness program designed to reconnect you with your authentic self.

Your natural state is far easier to achieve than you think. As your urban shaman, I help you implement simple techniques that calm your nervous system, focus your attention, and leave you feeling renewed and fully engaged in your creations.

Keep your mind, body, and spirit in the earth while you manifest like a skyscraper! 😉